


As Simple as Laughter

by AnneScriblerian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-17
Updated: 2013-04-17
Packaged: 2017-12-08 17:42:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/764173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneScriblerian/pseuds/AnneScriblerian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Getting these two together doesn't have to be complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Simple as Laughter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [abrae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/abrae/gifts).



> Written for abrae for the 2012 Secret Snarry Swap
> 
> A/N: I used all of your prompts and then things veered into humor. I hope this tickles your fancy. Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo = Don’t call me, I’ll call you. Thank you to the mods for their understanding and patience. And thank you to my beta; she saved me from the quivering, angsty nose-hairs of doom.

Draco watched Harry Potter throw his head back with laughter. When he saw the sparkle in those famously green eyes, he could almost see the attraction.

Still . . .

"You do realize that he is not young anymore."

Severus did not dignify that remark with even a snort. It was too bad; Draco would have liked to pretend that he was joking. Never one to backpedal, he offered up an even more ridiculously cliched observation.

"I guess none of us are."

Still no response.

Draco pulled out all the stops.

"And, of course, Potter never was young, was he?"

Severus was still and silent, but Draco couldn't hold it in anymore.

Laughing helplessly, he chided, "Severus! Help me out here. I need a straight man."

That made Severus snort, though not with humor.

"As you know very well, you won't find one here. And I recall quite clearly that you never did accept my help. Not if you could help it."

Draco winced slightly at the reminder of his ingratitude during that horrible time.

"But you helped me, regardless. And I know it wasn't just because of the unbreakable vow."

Severus turned towards him, though his curtain of black, oily hair still hid most of his profile. Draco fancied that he could see vulnerability in the awkward angle of Severus's hooked nose.

Draco took a deep breath and continued, "I won't stand back and watch this. Let me take care of you. You know I'll do what I think is best, in any case."

Draco was sure he saw Severus's head drop slightly in defeat.

Draco figured that was as close as he was going to get as permission, and he took his leave before Severus could forbid him to carry out his plan

Severus didn't acknowledge Draco's exit. But as soon as the door clicked shut, he turned back towards his fireplace. In the photo on the mantel Harry Potter threw his head back and laughed.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry was always happy to see a new customer . . . or he always had been. Until Draco Malfoy walked through the door of the brand-new Hogsmeade branch of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

Harry managed to keep a scowl off of his face, but he couldn't do better than a neutral expression. He didn't technically need the job, but the Weasleys needed the shop to succeed. Especially George. Harry couldn't let them, him, down.

"How can I help you today . . . Mr. Malfoy?" The pause was just a beat long, but there was no chance that the Ferret would miss it.

Surprisingly, Draco shrugged off the insult. More than shrugged it off, in fact. He didn't even seem to notice it. His oddly silver eyes had the gleam of a man with a mission.

Harry shivered. Draco's missions had never meant anything good--not for Harry and not for the Wizarding world in general.

Today, it seemed, was no exception.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Tha . . . that's a load of tosh!"

Draco took a silk handkerchief out of a hidden pocket and carefully wiped his cheek with it. Potter hadn't managed to sputter actual sputum on Draco, but it never hurt to shame your opponent.

When Potter flushed, Draco could almost--almost, mind you--see the appeal. Such ridiculous innocence begged to be despoiled. But he wasn't here to contemplate such things--well, not on his own behalf.

Draco carefully tucked his handkerchief away and continued his "explanation."

"By continuing to pursue the Headmaster even after he had rejected your invitations five times in a row, you invoked the _Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo_ ritual."

"The what, now?"

Draco pursed his lips. It had the dual effect of making him look pompous and keeping him from laughing aloud.

"It's a Wizarding courtship ritual. You have repeatedly declared your interest, notwithstanding Severus's refusals. If you do not make your intentions official, I shall be forced to challenge you to a duel. Not even the Boy-Who-Saved-Us-All can get away with harassing Severus Snape. Not while I'm around."

Potter looked ridiculously unattractive when his mouth hung open like a codfish's.

~*~*~*~*~

"The duel part is true enough, Harry."

Hermione's stern look only lasted a moment before she dissolved into giggles.

Ron chimed in, "Malfoy's just taking the piss, mate. I told you."

"No, really, Ron. If you had started to court Headmaster Snape and desisted mid-ritual, Draco would be well within his rights to challenge you to a duel."

Harry's face was screwed into a moue of distaste.

"I wasn't . . . Isn't . . . Is that because . . . But then why would he want me to court Sev . . . Snape?"

Hermione let out a long-suffering sigh, the one that came just before she lectured Harry on how it was fine to be gay, and how she and Ron knew just how strongly Harry felt about Headmaster Snape . . .

Ron interrupted her just after the sigh.

"Harry thinks that Snape and the Ferret are bumping uglies."

Hermione and Ron both burst out laughing.

Harry didn't think it was funny. Not at all.

~*~*~*~*~*~

When Harry Potter turned up on his doorstop, Severus was actually surprised. He hadn't thought for a moment that Draco's little plan would have any effect on Potter. He hadn't doubted that Draco would go through with it; his erstwhile charge considered himself quite the wit, and never passed up the chance to show off.

But there Potter was, and he wasn't going away.

Severus wrenched the door open, and Potter fell to his knees. Before Severus could close his mouth, Harry spoke.

"I've been told I have to court you or give you up forever. I am here to plight thee my troth."

Severus actually laughed. The sight of Harry Potter kneeling at his feet, abusing wedding vows, was actually quite funny.

His next reaction was more in-character.

"If you are having me on, Potter, no one will ever find your body."

"I would rather have you on my body."

Severus huffed in disbelief. Potter had an even more abysmal sense of humor than Draco.

Regardless, it was time to let Potter know the time for so-called jokes was over.

He looked down at Potter, letting his hair fall forward again until his face was shadowed by curtains of lank hair and his nose was prominent. Potter should be reminded that Severus Snape was dead serious.

Severus adopted his most cynical tone as he ordered Potter to, "Prove it."

Harry threw his head back in a show of submission, and Severus descended on him, right there in the doorway.

Severus caught the neighbors staring when he eventually pulled Harry inside.

He laughed as he slammed the door shut.


End file.
